Starring: Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling
Rated: R on appeal for strong graphic sexual content, language, and a beating;
originally rated NC-17 for a scene of explicit sexual content.
(The following film contains very graphic content and themes. Discretion is advised.)I’ve seen hundreds of movies in my lifetime, but none have affected me as strongly as the indie film Blue Valentine. One of the most talked about, controversial films of the 2010, Blue Valentine follows dual time periods in a couple’s relationship; the beginning and, six years later (although appearing more like 15) the end of their relationship. The film stars Michelle Williams, who’s performance was the best female performance of 2010, as the shy-turned-cold Cindy and Ryan Gosling, who pours himself into every role, as the suave-turned-pitiful Dean.
While Hollywood is known for cranking out films about couples getting together and falling apart, Blue Valentine manages the best approach I’ve seen. Cindy, at one point, says it flat out: “How do you trust your feelings when they can just disappear like that?” Unfortunately, the conclusion that is presented is that you simply have the feelings and find out. As Christians, many will disagree with this mentality. However, I soon realized how many Christians applied this to their to their view of marriage and therefore need see the film, although that’s unlikely to happen (and perhaps for some good reasons.) While this film hardly deserved the NC-17 rating it originally got (it’s sense been downgraded to R), Blue Valentine is an extremely explicit movie. Be warned. But the it’s not to titillate it’s audience, but to derive a strong message that nothing they do will save their marriage. No matter how much they try to conjure up good feelings, love each other, stick it out, get drunk, make love, find some form of spark in their lives, the two protagonists continue on their crash and burn trek. Likewise, no amount of positive thinking, romanticism, kindness, or “Love Dare” good deeds will save their marriage, either. While watching it, I couldn’t help but think about how they just needed to do more, try harder, love each other more. Then, I realized the power and honesty of Blue Valentine that even I, as a Christian, couldn’t see; no amount of love can save their marriage. Relationships are beyond our control.
As their relationship crumbles at the end, I was shocked at how much the two protagonists still loved each other despite their failing. Cindy screams she’s getting a divorce and Dean throws his wedding ring into the woods, and then moments later searches desperately with his wife to find it. It’s not their attitudes that need changing, it’s their lives. Nearly a day after the credits had rolled, I was still aching for the two fictitious characters of Blue Valentine, because the film was so authentic and real. I ached because I knew the characters wanted to work it out, but couldn’t. Their lives needed to be changed. And I ached because I know the only One who can change lives and make marriages work.
